“You’re lying again aren’t you? You said you were going to stop.”
That was the first thing she said to me. Now she was standing on the other side of my open apartment door, looking at me with big pleading eyes. I only sighed and stepped away from the door. She could either come in or go, but I wasn’t going to have a conversation with a threshold between us. Not with her.
After a few moments she stepped inside and I closed the door behind her. When I turned around she was watching me. I saw her fingers fidgeting as she held them down in front of her. It was one of her nervous ticks she did when she didn’t know what to do with herself. Two weeks ago I would have been tackled by her before I could even fully open the door.
My shoulders shrugged nonchalantly. “What exactly am I lying about?” I questioned. I stuck my own hands in the front pockets of my jeans and took a step towards her, which she parried with a backwards step of her own. Oh. So this is how it was going to be. She had picked a distance she felt comfortable with and was going to keep it. That didn’t mean I would. “Maybe you’re the one who’s lying. To yourself. About us.”
I took another step and watched her do the same. What I said came as a surprise for she started chewing on her lower lip. “You told me that you weren’t going to work for them anymore. That the last job, was the last one.” She startled herself when her heel hit against the sidewall. Obviously she hadn’t being paying much attention to what she was doing. Now she had nowhere else to go because I still continued towards her.
I didn’t stop until I was as close as I wanted to be to her. I felt the sudden shift around her, somewhere between stubborn defiance and the want to let go. We had been together for nearly a year without her knowing I had been smuggling weapons, but once she found out she called the relationship off rather suddenly.
I placed my hand against the wall and leaned forward. She immediately turned her head but that was okay. I whispered in her ear, “So you came all this way to call me a liar? You could have done that on the phone.”
“As long as you’re working with them we can’t be together,” she protested.
“That’s an excuse.”
“It’s the truth.”
I turned her head towards me and our eyes met. “Now who’s lying?”
“The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.” Oscar Wilde
Special thanks to Benjamin for posing with me!